31 July 2007

Freedom?


It's been easy to let myself slip into numbness since I moved here to San Francisco. There is so much going on around me that is a possibility either for great joy or great pain.


My dear friend Natalie was here visiting me this week. We went down to Sutro Park and sat on the cliffs overlooking the Pacific. We watched a barge as it crept into the bay after a long journey over the ocean. We talked of our longings for freedom and for oneness with creation and our Creator. How easily we fall into fear of our own sensitivity and ability to live vibrant yet painful lives. Yet, how much we miss out on when we live in that safe state of numbness. Staring out at the endless sea, we couldn't help but be reminded of the undying hope and endless possibilities of living the life that we were created to live. The overwhelming power of the sea and also its steady ebb and flow spoke to us about the all-encompassing power of God's love and the constancy of His grace. I always look over those cliffs and feel an urge deep within me to dive straight off into the exhilerating uncertainty of sea and sky.


I write this entry as I take my first steps off the rocks into a vibrant, vulnerable life, with fear cast aside and Arms to catch me.


2 comments:

Virginia said...

How I know... this is my lifelong cry and the subject of much of my poems and journals. Constantly release, let go, acknowledge, renew, find, fall into... wholeness... and freedom.

I love you. We will fly.

Natalie said...

"Freedom, ah freedom...that's just some people talkin'"

It's amazing to me how often we think we're going towards freedom and we're actually going towards further imprisonment. We fill our lives with things that give us a brief buzz of what we want, but we don't live it in a sustainable way until we declutter, slow down and be still. That moment at the sea we experienced the stillness that only the movements of creation can give... I love those times.

I still long to throw myself into the sea, even when the closest ocean is a few hours away! :)


And I need Gin's email! :P